Repost of the Mother’s Day post I did last year. This still rings true. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you out there!
Oh Mother’s Day. This is such a strange day for me. I do feel like we should honor moms everywhere. But when it come to me, I almost feel like I am forcing them to celebrate. Honestly, before we adopted our Little Bit, I expected to be honored. I wanted my husband to buy me a massage and take me out to dinner. That was the least they could do since I spent hours in labor. But I have changed, and I would say for the better.
I have realized that all of my children have been given to me, and I am honored to get to be called their mother. I do not know why I was chosen to be their mother. Some days seem so difficult. My children all have their special needs. Oldest Bit has severe food allergies, so we must make everything from scratch. Middle Bit has a learning disability, so reading time becomes an adventure. Littlest Bit has PTSD from the orphanage she spent four years of her life in. Before adoption, I would not have become so aware of what they needed, but since we have brought our little girl home, I have become overly sensitive to the needs of my family.
I no longer feel entitled to have a Mother’s Day to honor my accomplishments, but instead I am in awe that I have even been given this job. How on earth do I even begin to expect my daughter to celebrate me when she asks, “Is my real mom in China?” “Did the people in the orphanage change my diaper?” “When did I learn to walk?” “Do I have any funny baby stories mom?” The fact is, I do not know any of these answers. I was not there to comfort her when she cried, when her diaper was full, or to giggle with her when she would make funny noises. I wonder if her birth mom thinks about her on days like this. I wonder if she ever wants to meet Little Bit or what the circumstances were to bring her to the point of abandonment. Why did she leave her baby in a shopping mall? What happened? And how, how do I explain all of this to a little girl who struggles with anxiety and being terrified of not being loved.
Yes Mother’s Day has become completely different for me. I think of a birth mother who was desperate and just wanted something better for her daughter. I think of my family and the struggles we have gone through since the adoption. I think that there is no way that I could have ever come to these realizations on my own. It took a little girl, to help me to realize that my three children need family, care, hope and love. Instead of celebrating Mother’s Day , I celebrate family day. Without them, I would not be who I am today. Thank you wonderful family for giving me this opportunity.
I hope all of you mom’s had a fantastic Mother’s Day. You all are wonderful!